In my uncle's garden
Thursday, November 21, 2002

On Tuesday night I started feeling a cramp low in my belly, where you'd normally feel menstrual cramps. I lay down for a while and it got a little better, but it was still there on Wednesday morning and persisted throughout the day. I did some research and no-one seemed to mention this particular kind of cramp, except when accompanied by bleeding. I didn't have any bleeding.

Yesterday I called my midwife to see what she thought. She asked me whether I was bleeding, whether the cramp comes and goes every few seconds or minutes (no), whether it's off to the side or in the middle (middle), whether rest makes it better (since I'm pretty much always "resting", no), whether I'm having trouble peeing, which could indicate a bladder infection (no). Then she said it's probably nothing, but that I should take it easy (easier?!) and if I start bleeding, I should call her.

This morning the cramp was still here, and when I went to the bathroom I noticed a bit of discharge which seemed pretty watery, although it's hard to tell. Discharge is normal during pregnancy but of course I fear the worst, that it's amniotic fluid and I'm miscarrying.

When I got to work about fifteen minutes ago there wasn't much more discharge, so I'm not calling the midwife in a panic just yet, but if I notice more later I will. In the meantime I'm just worrying and pretending not to.

When I come back to this entry later it will either be an example of excessive prenatal paranoia, or the first chapter of a very bad story. I just wish I knew which it was going to be.