June 15 2003

I'm sorry I haven't written; not just because y'all are missing out on my fantastic prose, but because this is such a precious and exciting time, and I wish I were documenting it more. I'll try and catch up.

Breastfeeding

Moving straight to the important stuff! Delphine is growing well, but I'm not convinced we're breastfeeding champions; nursing hurts a little more than I think it should, at least when Del first latches on. After she's been going for a minute or two, it feels fine, but I'm not sure if that's a bad sign.

Generally, though, nursing is pretty fun; it's neat to be able to both comfort and feed my baby with nothing but my boobs. Also, it's more than a little amusing: when Delphine is very hungry and I put her to my breast, she does this primitive scan-and-lunge maneouvre to locate and latch on, frantically wobbling her head back and forth with her mouth wide open until she finds my nipple. Blake says she's like a cross between a great white shark and a bobble-head doll.

Most everything in my life is covered in breastmilk these days, either fresh or regurgitated. Delphine is a very messy eater, and by the time she's finished there's usually milk on her, on me and on whatever I'm wearing. And then, minutes later, Del spits up on whatever she's on, which is very seldom a nice clean diaper, because I'm just not that smart. There's a lot of laundry going on. I'm okay with that, though, because I have the coolest washer/dryer ever.

Home Alone

Blake has been back at work for a week now, and I'm gradually adjusting to my new life. It's all in the attitude; on the days I when I think I will get this and that and the other thing done, I get impatient when Delphine "interrupts" me because she wants to be fed or changed or cuddled, and the whole day goes miserably because I feel like I'm not achieving what I wanted to achieve. On the days when I think I'll just hang out with my baby and take care of her, and whatever else gets done gets done, I'm much happier and Del is much happier because I'm more responsive to her and probably less impatient.

Sadly, less stuff gets done on those days, and there's plenty to do. All that laundry, for one thing.

And now it's time to go over to Blake's parents' place for dinner, so I'm going to put this up as it is instead of trying to complete it. That's another thing I've gotten good at -- not finishing things.



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